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Christmas Commercials That I Really Hate

1. That one where the couple is in some plaza in Italy or something, and the guy yells how much he loves his wife, and she's all embarassed and shushes him up, and then he gives her this gihugic diamond ring or some shit, and she gets ALL happy and whispers in his ear how much she loves him. Cunt! Stupid bitch! Giving us all a fucking bad name, you douchebag! (Ha, I only said that because I was talking to Michelle last week, and she called some guy with whom she went on a date a "douche bag", and I reacted to that, and she said that she keeps calling people that, she got into the habit and now can't help it.) Jesus. You should be fucking THANKFUL that your husband loves you enough that he would scream it out in a plaza in Italy. You are both in freaking ITALY! You should be happy with THAT, you ungrateful wench! Oh but you're sooo embarassed until he gives you a ring bejeweled with a rock that was probably obtained with the blood of thousands of Africans. MERRY CHRISTMAS, BITCH.

2. The Lexus commercial that they re-do every single fucking year. Man, whatever music that is, it makes me want to slap those yuppies in the face. And those big huge bows on top of the cars are sort of ridiculous. But what really offends me here -- and look, I'm trying real hard not to hate rich people just because they're rich. Rich people can be nice too. But if you're in a situation where you can buy a LUXURY CAR without consulting your SPOUSE first, that's fucking sick. WHO is that rich? WHO??? Fucking ridiculous. I fucking hate that commercial. I mostly hate Lexi too, because it reminds me of my hometown. Here's a quick tangent:

In middle school, all kids would congregate on the stairs at the front of the school before the day began. In seventh grade, I happened to have never heard of a Lexus. I'm not sure why that is; maybe I just never paid attention to the commercials? I dunno. But one day I was waiting on the steps, and some kid was getting dropped off (actually a MILLION kids were getting dropped off, duh), and this kid (I forget who it was, he was an eigth grader) was getting let out of a Lexus, and Danielle Pierce, who was also an eighth grader (and not like a cheerleader-type popular kid; I mean she was well-liked and all, but not preppy or anything), said derisively, "pff, I didn't think _____'s parents could afford a Lexus."

....

RAGE! Fucking stuck-up snobs. Man, don't EVEN get me started about my town, that's another set of posts altogether. Fucking bitch.

So yes, to sum up, while I realize that commercials for products around Christmastime are going to be about gifts, man. Those two really gripe my wagger. I also don't like Christmas songs about presents. Like those two on the Holidayland cd, even though the moral of both of them is that you shouldn't be greedy or you'll go to jail, or Santa won't give you a damn thing. Or the versions of "Feliz Navidad" where they say "and lots of presents to make you happy" -- is that really necessary? I like "Shake Hands With Santa Claus" by Louis Prima, though, which I heard for the first time Tuesday, because it's about GIVING presents, so that's okay with me.

Fin



UPDATE 12/31/02: Man, I watched the Lexus commercial again (actually, I saw it like a million more times), and dude, every single person who receives a Lexus is wearing a turtleneck sweater. Every one! Goddamned yuppies.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
rxgreene
Dec. 26th, 2002 12:12 pm (UTC)
Washu, you're drivin me nuts (yarrr), what town did you grow up in?
littlewashu
Dec. 26th, 2002 12:25 pm (UTC)
Ridgewood, New Jersey, baybee.
prettykate
Dec. 26th, 2002 01:13 pm (UTC)
NORTH JERSEY REPRAZENT!

Dude, one of my bestest friends in HS got a lexus for her 17th birthday. She called it Lexi. Oh man, Barf.
littlewashu
Dec. 26th, 2002 01:23 pm (UTC)
My brother's best friend got a brand-new yellow Nissan XTerra for HIS seventeenth birthday! Luckily I hated him even before that.
prettykate
Dec. 27th, 2002 08:13 am (UTC)
Man, that is as good a reason as any!
rxgreene
Dec. 26th, 2002 02:06 pm (UTC)
Holy crap! You ever go to the Wycoff YMCA? My wife works there!
littlewashu
Dec. 31st, 2002 11:09 am (UTC)
Um, no, I don't think so! But yeah, Wackoff, that's right next door.
singingdorkette
Dec. 27th, 2002 09:51 pm (UTC)
oh man i knew someone from ridgewood once! and she was a rich asshole! coincidence!

also, i would just like to say how insanely happy your journal makes me
littlewashu
Dec. 31st, 2002 11:07 am (UTC)
Not a coincidence! I mean a coincidence that I am from Ridgewood, but not that she was an asshole. Man.

Also, hey, thanks! That's what it's here for! That's excellent.
rhino777
Dec. 28th, 2002 06:04 pm (UTC)
Those two really gripe my wagger

Excellent!
wisedumb
Dec. 29th, 2002 02:21 am (UTC)
You added me awhile ago, and I never really introduced myself. So what up, I be Darlene.

MAN, I HATE THOSE COMMERCIALS, TOO.

Do you ever get those Christmas with SOUL CD commercials? All of a sudden there is a family of jolly black folks dancing around to "White Christmas"? Every holiday season, I swear man.

The Stevie Wonder/India Aire Target commercial does not sit well with me either.
littlewashu
Dec. 31st, 2002 11:06 am (UTC)
Yes I have seen those commercials! But dude, I like the Target one. I feel like I shouldn't, but I do anyway. I even tried to nab the song offa the Itnernet, but it was just that sample OVER and OVER and OVER again. Blah.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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