In my email's address book, I made your first name "Pretty Kate", and your last name "Machine".
I'm no good at rhyming poems, and I'm not a big fan of free-verse ones, so here's a haiku:
There's this girl I know
She really cracks my shit up
Vikings are her steez.
Wow, I didn't get to say a lot in that at all. Here's another one:
Whenever Kate writes,
She sounds really excited
I'm excited too.
Oh, so lame. Oh you Japanese, why must your poems be so short?
She makes me re-think:
I normally don't hang
With feminists, yo
Man, I have to stop now before I embarass myself further. And I didn't even get to mention Nine Inch Nails.
I think you're fantastic, Kate! When first I encountered you, I must admit, I thought you were a little crazy, a little wacky. But then you grew on me and THEN I met you and realized I was taking you too seriously! Now I know! And you know what they say about knowing!
You're one of my favorite kids on the internet. Your journal entries are always funny, but man -- you're like one of the best commentors out there. You are the queen of the one-liner, empress of the zing, and lord grand ruler of the e-tard. I'm glad I get to hang out with you all day at work. I haven't gotten to hang out with you very often in real life, but whenever I hear you're around, bam, I'm there. I can't get enough of ye's. You're fantastic.
Happy Birthday! I didn't realize I was older than you! Twenty-three is great, because two plus three equals five! Hooray! Have fun tonight and make sure to call the wenches "wenches" and I hope you're crowned princess but even if you're not you'll always be our princess. Awwwwwww.