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I was just talking to Mitch on the phone about something, and it reminded me of this bar I went to a while back, called Tequila Joe's. It's up in North Jersey somewhere, I forget the town. I went there probably the first summer I was 21, which was 1999 or some shit. So it was one of the first bars I ever went to. OH I just remembered we were there the day before the People's Prom (ask Manning about that one, that patriotic fuck). ANYWAY, it had lots of floors and lots of rooms, yadda yadda yadda, and I ended up making out with this dude who claimed he was a model, and he kept trying to put his hand up my skirt. I also was kissed and skirt-hand-upped on the dance floor by some strange dude who was all UP IN MY GRILL and shit and kissing me without my permission. So, gross, I guess, but he wasn't ugly, I don't think (it was dark), so you know, there's a story. Albeit a short one.

ANYWAY, the reason I remembered it was because Mitch was talking about that short on Liquid Television about the dude whose house was crashing in as he ate an egg, and he was cursing in Italian. OH MAN Liquid Television. Now there was some hot shit. I'm actually surprised it didn't last longer than it did, and surprised they haven't brought it back. Or that Cartoon Network doesn't have a show of shorts, on a non-Adult Swim/Toonami night or sumpin'. I have a tape of Liquid Television that I taped during a marathon. It's as prized as my Dr. Katz tapes. But man, I taped over the first two hours with MONTY PYTHON AND THE SEARCH FOR THE HOLY GRAIL. God damn me. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

ANYWAY, so one of the rooms at Tequila Joe's was the obligatory 80's room. They had 80's music playing. And they had a swing at one end, just a regular swing, hung from the ceiling. You had to stand by it and look at the girl swinging on it hungrily, until she got bored and left and then you could nonchalantly go up to it because it's not like you wanted to SWING or anything, that's just silly. And on the wall behind the swing they projected Liquid Television, swear to God. No sound, of course. Now this was back in the olden days, in the Nineties, half of you probably don't even remember that far back. DVD's were not an option, so some motherfucker must've just had these shits lyin' around or something. It was hot shit.

Also at Tequila Joe's, but not sponsored by Tequila Joe's, rather appearing as regular patrons, were 1) some guy dressed up in a Noid* costume, [oh MAN it must have been fucking hot in that thing], and 2) some guy nicknamed "Pony Boy" [or not, I don't really remember, but it seems plausible] who wore a real live leather saddle on his back. He would let any girl who bought him a drink ride him for a minute or two.

*You know, the Noid? Avoid the Noid? Domino's Pizza, back when it was there in thrity minutes or less, or you got three bucks off? Ahhhh, kids. Of course, the Noid was LONG gone by 1999, which, you know, makes the dude even . . . cleverer. (?)


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 3rd, 2002 07:38 pm (UTC)
Tequlia Joes in on the Newark/Belleville border! It closes for the summer every year!

I always wanted to go because they had some sort of "metal" room. Is it any good?
Sep. 3rd, 2002 08:58 pm (UTC)
No Soda, Loser.
That egg thing used to be on Nickeloden around 87. I used to be so sincerly frightened by it that I would freak out and wouldn't be able to stop shaking and crying for, like, hours.
Sep. 3rd, 2002 09:15 pm (UTC)
Ah, liquid television.
Where I originally fell in love with Aeon Flux, Stick Figure Theater and Crazy Daisy Ed.

I have Wet Shorts: The Best of Liquid Television, but having all of the episodes would be the BEST of Liquid Television indeed.
Sep. 3rd, 2002 09:43 pm (UTC)
Re: Ah, liquid television.
Man, don't even get me started. Dog Boy? My best friend Nancy for some reason thought Dog Boy was the fucking hottest thing ever. And I don't even like the Specialists, but I sort of do now, just because they're so . . . Liquid Televisiony. I have a couple Aeon Flux tapes; the long episodes I'm not so fond of, though. It's no fun when there's all that talking.

But hells yes, Stick Figure Theater and Aeon Flux were my favorites too.
Sep. 4th, 2002 01:21 am (UTC)
Pop Culture.
I SO MUCH agree that the full feature length Aeons suck way more because of:

a.) the talking.


b.) aeon hardly ever dies in each episode.

Dog Boy was rad too, its too bad the Creepy Duracell People™ gave plastic hair such a bad name afterwards.
Sep. 4th, 2002 01:42 pm (UTC)
Re: Pop Culture.
Word to your post-script idea. Way to remember a concurrent event- I got pissed off at the [perceived by me] blatant Duracell plagiarism of dogboy, too. Blah.
Sep. 4th, 2002 06:33 am (UTC)
>>>He would let any girl who bought him a drink ride him for a minute or two.

so will i. hell, so will most guys, probably.
Sep. 4th, 2002 04:13 pm (UTC)
I'm going to outbid you by making the drink optional.
Sep. 4th, 2002 06:35 am (UTC)
Sep. 4th, 2002 06:51 am (UTC)


My thoughts on why they don't play reruns of Liquid Television: Anything on that show that was animated on computers, which was a good chunk of it, looks SO BAD by today's standards, like, way worse than you can even imagine, that they know it wouldn't go over well, and that part alone would kill it for everybody. Especially youngsters who haven't seen it before. They'd hate that shit.

Just a theory. Mind you, this is me, talking about television, so.
Sep. 4th, 2002 01:43 pm (UTC)
I remember the early nineties! That's when it was cool to dress like me!
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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