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My bed

I was sad when I got home from work today -- at seven, I worked late -- so I called Michelle, but she wasn't home. So I called my mom, but she wasn't home, and I talked to my dad for a while. It was a pretty nice conversation; usually he'll talk to me for two minutes and hand the phone off to mom. He told me some new stuff, and some stuff he had told me already (but I let him talk), and then he was telling me this story and I wanted to tell him an anecdote which would AGREE with what he was saying, but everytime I started to talk he interrupted me. Finally I had enough time to get in the anecdote, but just as I was wrapping it up, he interrupted me again. I didn't get a chance to come to my conclusion. Man, Dad, help me out here. My dad and I are both sarcastic and critical, and things are usually . . . something between us. Not bad, per se, because we don't not like each other, we just don't know how to talk to each other without getting offended. His interrupting me is something that drives me nuts, because it's SO disrespectful, and SO blatant. I guess he doesn't even realize he's doing it. Also he managed once again to mention something about how he's jealous of all his friends whose daughters live nearby. Goddamn it, Dad, I live two freaking hours away, give me a break. And I want to go to grad school in CALIFORNIA. I didn't mention it.

I took a shower just now, and laid down on my bed. I have the best bed in the world. It might not be the best bed to you, because it's not yours, but it is to me, and that's what matters. I bought it as my first major purchase after I got the job at Spamtrak, my first job out of school. It was around $300, it's a queen. I also bought my couch for $62.50 at the Thrift for AIDS store in Philly, and senior year I bought my wardrobe from Ikea for $150. Aside from that, pretty much all my furniture are gifts from my parents, except for a crappy thing here and there. Oops but now that I think about it, my parents might have given me that money that I spent on the wardrobe, so just the bed and couch are legit.

So it's a queen. It's in the center of my room with its back up against the wall. Just how I like to be! My room has windows, and the sun comes in, which is crucial. I can't live without sunlight, I can't stand rooms that have curtains and are always dark, we need the sun to live. My mom bought me white sheets for my bed, they're crisp and clean and white. There's a blue blanket on over the sheet; I had a different blue blanket, but at my Housewarming party me and Dan and Kelly each got sick from partying too hard (I think it was the Jell-O shots, them shits will sneak up on you), and Kelly did so on the bed in my living room (when I bought the new bed, my old twin-sized bed was only a couple of years old, so I keep it in my living room and use it as extry seating for when the company gets deep), and all over my blue blanket, so she replaced it. Then over that I have my comforter from Ikea. It's got orange and red and pink circles on it, ans soon as I saw it I knew my mom would hate it because "those colors don't go together," and I was right. I have four pillows in my room (and one on the bed in the living room). One is a king-sized pillow, which means it's real long. Two are regular pillows, also from Ikea, and they have the pillowcases that match the comforter, so that they can be easily identified. The fourth pillow is soft and smooshy. When sleeping in my bed, you'll want one of the Ikea pillows, and one of the other ones. You're the guest, so I'll let you have first dibs (psst, pick the smooshy one!).

Oh and over the comforter is a blue sheet, so that Henry doesn't get too much cat hair on my Ikea comforter. This tactic is moderate- to poorly-successful.

I like to turn the AC on, not too much, just a little, so that the room stays cool, and sleep under everything. I don't like sleeping under just a sheet, and I can't stand sleeping under nothing.

Henry is an annoying fucking piece of shit and he keeps howling to get out the door onto the balcony and I'm just encouraging him by letting him out again, but fuck him, I can't stand the noise. Out he goes.

I like my bed because it's crisp and clean. One time when Kelly lived at Echelon Glen I got into her bed for a moment, and it was dark and warm and enveloping, which is a different kind of wonderful. Not the kind I want for my bed, but really quite nice to visit.

I wish I could go to it right now; I'm supposed to be studying and I haven't yet. My head hurts, but I can't smoke because I have to study. My eyes hurt but I can't take my contacts out because I left my glasses at Mitch's. I never ever bring my glasses there but this weekend I did, and now I'm sorry. I want to make a soda-milk, but I'm out of milk. When my mom called back, I talked to her for a while, but didn't have much to say. It didn't help, really. Sometimes I feel very very alone, which is always true, really, and I know that and have accepted that for almost three and a half years now, it just sucks to think about, sometimes.


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 8th, 2002 07:56 pm (UTC)
What is a soda-milk?! I AM INTRIGUED!
Oct. 8th, 2002 08:02 pm (UTC)
It's -- and man, admitting to this in public is possibly a bad idea -- it's half a glass of milk, into which you pour Pepsi. Don't do it the other way around, or you'll get gross pepsi suds.

They do it on Laverne and Shirley. My grandpa did it, I don't remember if that show was his inspiration, or if it was just a coincidence. My mom drinks it, so I've been drinking it since I was a kid. I like it because it's thick, like milk, but it has that carbonated bite to it, without being all bubbly.

You can try it yourself, but I'm an expert at making it. I know exactly how much soda to put in, according to color, and I can even account for the relative flatness of the soda (the flatter it is, the more soda you need). But the proportions are pretty much equal. I don't drink it too much anymore because it uses up a lot of milk and I don't have a lot of milk in the house all the time, plus it's probably pretty bad for you. But it's cold and filling and feels like home.

This one time I was cooking dinner and my friend Carolyn came over while I was still cooking, and I had a soda-milk on the counter. She said "what's that?" and I responded sheepishly "it's Pepsi and milk," and she said "my family drinks that! Only we call it soda-milk" and I said "MAN ME TOO!" Astonishing.
Oct. 8th, 2002 08:10 pm (UTC)
Only Pepsi, not Coke? Also, I suppose nonfat milk is right out...
Oct. 8th, 2002 08:26 pm (UTC)
I use 1%, any less and it might be too watery. Not sure.

And I'm a Pepsi girl, so, you know. I think Coke's gross anyway, so if you already like Coke, then maybe that's your best bet.
Oct. 8th, 2002 10:00 pm (UTC)
Man, I drank those for most of my childhood. I dunno if I could handle one now, though.
Oct. 8th, 2002 09:19 pm (UTC)
WOW I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THAT IN MY LIFE! That's almost as weird as Angry Liz telling me about ground beef and raisins. I want to try it...but I don't know if I will ever get over the gross-out factor. I know, I'll make SC try it first!
Oct. 9th, 2002 10:22 am (UTC)
ME NEITHER! I like to eat rasins in milk though. Before you get grossed out, it's the same as rasin bran, without the bran. I started doing it when I was a kid and we were out of rasin bran and I wanted some.
Oct. 8th, 2002 08:46 pm (UTC)
>so she and Neil replaced it.

i know people like to lump me & neil together, but i replaced your blanket solo. that blunder was ass-nasty and i apologize again.

Oct. 8th, 2002 09:23 pm (UTC)
Oh shoot, I'm sorry! I actually originally had just "Kelly replaced it," but I thought I remembered it being presented by both of you . . . my bad, yo.

And man, I also certainly do not need another apology. That was years ago! I didn't mention it to make you feel bad, I just thought it made for a more interesting story. I mean hell, I got a new blanket and towels out of the deal! I already won! And everybody gets sick at everybody else's houses, that's just the way these things work.
Oct. 8th, 2002 10:55 pm (UTC)
My mom used to make us kids soda-milk (although I'm sure we used a far less-Northern term for it) all the time as youngsters. I tried it again about a year ago, and it was... well, it was weird.

By the way, lonely people are amongst the most populous group on this earth! Power to the alone people! Also, well wishes.
Oct. 9th, 2002 10:25 am (UTC)
Man, I like hard pillows, because I sleep on my back (at the start of the night, sometimes I wind up on my tummy). When the pillow is too smooshy, the back of my head just flattens it, and it defeats the purpose of having a pillow!

I also like a warm dark bed. and WARM. I like to feel smothered and enveloped and safe.
Oct. 9th, 2002 03:45 pm (UTC)
Sometimes I feel very very alone, which is always true, really, and I know that and have accepted that for almost three and a half years now, it just sucks to think about, sometimes.

Well, I send you a soda-milk and a hug in hopes that you feel a little bit better. Don't let the loneliness get ya down.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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