I have two things to talk about today about my time spent in England. Here is the first.
One time, I and three other people from my residence hall went to the grocery store, a Safeway (at the time, John Cleese was doing commercials for Safeway. This is irrelevant). I had gone through the whole store, but I had missed a few things, so I was doubling back. Two of the people I had come with -- I think the guy's name was Rob, and I forget the girl's name -- were coming the other way, so I said, "hey, I missed the bananas and the tuna, do you know where they are?"
Rob looks down at me disdainfully and says, "Well, the bah-NAH-nahs are in the front" (emphasizing the word so that I was certain to know that I was saying it incorrectly) "and by the way, it's CHOO-nah."
I look at him. "'Choona'?" I repeat.
He and the girl nod.
I think for a moment. "You mean, like, with a 'C-H' in the front?" I am skeptical.
Rob and the bitch furrow their respective brows, look at each other, then turn back to me, nodding. "Yes, I guess it is. Choona. Like the Choob." They meant the subway in London.
I'd been here for two months already, so I'd learned long ago that I was never, ever going to win. "Okay. Well, I'm going to go find the choona." Inside, I was rolling my eyes.