April 9th, 2001

mr. robin

Let's all be careful out there

My company is very safety-oriented. Every month, we in the office get a calendar printed out on some color laser printer somewhwere that has a safety rule for each weekday of the month. It's called "Engineering Department Office Employees' Safety Calendar". I don't know who's in charge of distributing them, but some months I get one, and some months I don't.

I didn't get one for April, but I did for March, so that one's still up. In lieu of today's actual safety rule, I will read you the Safety Rule of the Day for Friday, March 9:

7019 - Pointed instruments, such as scissors, pens, pencils, etc., shall not be left on the edge of a desk or table. When such items are carried, they must be pointed downward and must not be carried in shirt or pants pocket without proper guard.
mr. robin

Horoscopes reallly ARE true!

On Friday the horoscope for my friend Mitchell said that he should stay in that night. And I thought, "yeah, right!" because Mitch HATES to stay in on a Friday or Saturday night because he wants to make sure he doesn't miss anything. But nothing was going on, so he DID stay in on Friday! Freaky.

But here's the clincher. Mine for today, under the heading "Technical":

Your boss may not appreciate the time you have been spending on the Web and all the new online friends you have made lately. Avoid distractions and stick with the task at hand; otherwise your weekend plans will include overtime rather than socializing and having fun.

I'm dead! How did he know?
mr. robin

Mr. C's

Man oh man, I could really go for a Fat Steve right now. For those of you who don't know, a Fat Steve is chicken fingers, mozzerella sitcks, french fries, marinara sauce and lettuce on a hoagie roll. For only $4.50 or so. I haven't had one in, like, a YEAR and I'm really hurtin' for one.
mr. robin

I'm Fred Sherrrrrrman

In the mornings on the way to work I listen to KYW, the local CBS AM news station. If you're not familiar with it, this story won't be funny to you. Heck, even if you are, you may still find it disappointing.

Last week when I was driving in, it was either 25 or 55 past the hour, because Don Lancer was doing the financial news update thing that he does. He went to the analyst that isn't Fred Sherman. The analyst guy (I don't remember his name, sorry analyst guy) started out by saying, "Fifteen-thirty six*". [*All four-digit numbers have been changed because I don't remember them exactly] And he continued: "The year the Swedes introduced the log cabin to America. Also the level the NASDAQ closed at yesterday." Then he went on to say boring financial stuff about the NASDAQ, and then he wrapped up by saying, "Fifteen thirty-six, Fred Sherman's sophomore year of college." He said something else, but I didn't hear him because I was laughing.

When he was done, Don Lancer chuckled and said, "I'm sure Fred will have something to say about that in his next report." I didn't get to hear it, though, because I was at work by then.

AM news reporters crack my shit up.