April 11th, 2001

mr. robin

An hour and a half at Acme

Guess how much money I spent last night on groceries? Go on, guess. Well, I'll tell you. $160. Here, let me write it out so that it seems more dramatic: a hundred and sixty damn dollars.

How does something like this happen? I live by myself. I just went shopping, like -- no more than two weeks ago. I don't buy prepared foods, like frozen dinners or anything. The only meat I bought was some ground beef and some Italian sausage. I didn't buy any snacks, except for one bag of fat-free pretzels and two boxes of microwave popcorn. Only three bottles of soda. No candy. No candy! With all that Easter crap lying around.

And I thought I was going to be good this time. This time I actually had a list. I never remember to make and/or bring a list. And I don't think I got many things that weren't on the list, besides a hyacinth.

And I bought lots of produce, for which I was very proud of myself. Bananas, two kinds of apples, grapes, carrots, celery. I'm trying to snack more healthily.

So what went wrong? Who knows. At least I saved $21 in Bonus Buy Savings, as the cute check-out guy informed me. And there was a bagger, which was excellent, because I'm simply awful at bagging. I'm just not allowed to go grocery shopping again -- except for perishables -- until, oh, I don't know, the end of June or so. Not because I can't afford to go again before then, but to teach myself a lesson about responsible spending.
mr. robin

Merci Beaucoup

Before I retire this evening, I would like to express my undying gratitude to a one Kelly* McMahon. She has balls of steel, and I am a big fat pussy. Kelly stood up for me tonight. I fear that nothing I could ever do will manage to equal her tenaciousness. If I have any in at all with a higher power, I hereby request that said higher power bestow upon Ms McMahon all the luck and good fortune a savior such as she deserves.

That said, good night.