November 16th, 2001

mr. robin

Miami dreamin'

I had a dream this morning that I somehow got a job working for the Miami Herald. Even though, you know, I'm not a journalist, except on Halloween. And there was all this weird sexual weirdness between everyone in the office, which was weird. And then my mom introduced me to DAVE BARRY but of course he didn't look like Dave Barry, he had a mustache and looked like Dr. Rose my old Latin teacher, and someone made reference to his Hispanic accent (Miami, remember?), although I didn't notice it. But I screwed up somehow and said something stupid and/or inappropriate and then he didn't want to work with me let alone sleep with me and I was disconsolate and then I woke up.
mr. robin

THREE tiny tee vees

Yesterday I did a traffic count at a pretty quiet intersection in Winslow Township. I had a leetle traffic counter, with a picture of an intersection on it. Each side of the intersection had three buttons, for right- and left- turns, and going straight through. A car passes through the intersection, I press a button. Easy. I got to sit in my car listening to the Cherry Dart XBox contest on Opie and Anthony for two hours, and got paid for it, plus mileage on my car. I got to think a lot, too. One of the advantages of this new job which hadn't occurred to me before is that, with all of this out-to-the-field driving, I'll get to know the area a lot better. Which is very good. I know how to get from my house to the Laurel Springs/Lindenwold area (since that's where Dave and Hal and Jeff and Mitch and Kevin and Neil and Vince and Culann live) (poor no-LJ-havin' Culann), and everyplace in between. But there's a whole world of South Jersey down here I don't know very well, and maybe I will now.

People slowed down and looked at me funny, wondering what I was doing sitting in my car on the corner of a harvested cornfield. Po-po drove by several times, but they didn't stop; I think someone may have told them ahead of time that someone would be there. The guy at my office who sent me out said that Gary, the guy that usually does the traffic counts, did one near a school one time and somebody called the police.

After it got dark, this car stopped near my corner, and a chick got out and started walking over. "Are you okay?" she asked. I said I was, and explained to her what I was doing. As she started to walk back to her BMW, I called out, "hey, do you have a little tv in your car?" because I could see it glowing in the darkness.

"Yeah, I have like three."

"Wow, that's awesome," I gushed. "That's phat." Man. Normally I would hate someone who had three tv's in their car, but she was so nice!