December 8th, 2004

james t. kirk - stumped

(no subject)

Yahoo Mail has been doing this weird thing lately where sometimes, after I read or delete a message or whatever, it puts me on the FIRST page of my Inbox instead of the last one.  I don't throw anything out, so I have a lot of messages in there.

The one on the bottom of the page was from Jeff, and out of curiousity I opened it up, just to see what it said.  It's from the first of August, 2001, and here's the bulk of the message:

anyway, i have some bad news.  well, bad for me:

Dear Jeffrey:

Thanks for visiting the Wrigley web site to request the name of the actor in our commercial for Big Red gum.

Although we'd like to be helpful, because of contractual agreements with those who produce the commercials, as well as the actors and actresses who appear in them, we are unable to distribute information about the participants.  However, we can tell you that the actor is not Garrett Morris.

Again, thank you for stopping by  We hope this information is helpful.

Sincerely yours,

Denise Young
Consumer Relations Coordinator

you realize what this means?  the Powers behind the sinister global conspiracy against me have recruited the once-proud Wrigley Chewing Gum Co in its war against my credibility.  things are getting serious.

Poor, deluded Jeffrey . . .