me: I shook Elvis Costello's hand!
Mom: Pssh, Elvis Costello.
me: What's wrong with Elvis Costello?
Mom (dismissively): Oh, that man wears ugly hats.
me: Well yeah, he does.
Mom: Him and Tom Waits. They're both always wearing ugly hats.
Man, I don't even know anything about Tom Waits. Man, my mom.