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everyone you know someday will die

I slipped on ice on the way to my car yesterday morning, invisible ice on my sidewalk. I fell on my behind in the most cliched way possible, feet flying out in front of me. Somewhere, a slide whistle tooted.

I went to the Animation Show at the Prince last night. Tami put me on the comp list, Sean gave me my ticket, and Meghann gave me a hug. (I really liked her hair). And the old man who ripped my ticket was sweet.

I really enjoyed the movie. It made me wistful for Liquid Television. There was a Plymptoon, and they even included the Office Space cartoon, the one with Milton and the stapler. Man, 1991, you ruled and I miss you! Ha ha, not really. But I discovered/realized that I don't really like gross, gory cartoons. Isn't that lame of me? I mean that's part of the appeal of cartoons, you can do some whacked out shit and it's okay, because it's a cartoon. But it just doesn't do it for me. The cartoon I walked in upon (I was late) was probably called Peanut (nevermind, I just looked it up, it's called "Strange Invaders") and it was this little kid doing all these horrible things and everyone in the theater was laughing, but all I did was wince. The same thing happened with Don Hertzfeld's Billy's Balloon. I mean I liked it, and it was cool, and I'm glad I saw it finally (on the largest movie screen in Philadelpha, even), but I didn't laugh at it. Oh, how lame and grown up am I! I can't stand the Happy Tree Friends either. Eh.



The other night, I was out in my living room, working on the computer. It was a rather enjoyable evening, actually. I worked a little late at work. Then I came home and read in bed. Then I took a shower. I was out by eight to catch ST:TNG, and it was a totally awesome episode I hadn't seen before, where Q has to become a human. (I love Q. He's like Tom Hanks, only obnoxious and interesting.) At nine that awful "game show" Oblivious comes on Spike TV, so I checked my listings and saw that Dune was about to come on SciFi. The David Lynch one. And according to Yahoo TV, it was the "long verson". That's what it said, "long version". Not director's cut, or extended cut, "long version." I dunno, I thought that was silly.

ANYWAY, I don't think I've ever seen the movie from start to finish. I've seen the whole thing, I think, from random TV viewings, but I've never sat down and watched it deliberately. And coincidentally enough, I had just read the first few chapters of House Atreides this past weekend. I know I said I would never read any of those apocrypha, if you will, but I was at my parents' and I had forgotten to bring my book with me. My mom owns it, and I figured, eh, what the hell. I haven't gotten far enough along to make an assessment.

SO ANYWAY, I turned to SciFi, and was dismayed within seconds. Now, I know that the movie is not completely faithful. But let's be honest, you can't make a 2-hour movie version of that book and remain faithful, you just can't. It's too dense. I try to be reasonable about book-to-movie adaptations, I try to be flexible. And I remembered that they gave the Fremen this weird schtick where Paul teaches them to fight using sound. That's stupid. But it sort of has some basis in *something*, because a) in the book, the Fremen rally around the sound of Muad'Dib's name or something (it's been a couple years, I don't remember exactly), and b) the Fremen are just sort of . . . amazing warriors, with not much more explanation than that, and I guess Lynch (or whoever did the adaptation) wanted something concrete for the audience to see, a real reason why they were winning all the time. That kind of defeats the idea that these were amazing warriors even before Muad'Dib came on the scene, but whatever. But in the watercolored introduction to the movie, Irulan says that the ATREIDES army was using sound, and that's why the Emperor was getting nervous. I hadn't realized that the movie said that the sound-fighting technique was an Atreides tactic. And then Paul uses the sound thingie when he's sparring with the training droid thing, and what the fuck!! Not to sound like misterscarecrow or anything, but what the fuck is the point of that?? Man that just frustrated me. I didn't want to be frustrated FIVE MINUTES into a three hour movie, for fuck's sake. I can forgive leaving out important details, but I just can't see the excuse for ADDING things to a dense story like that.

I had known I wouldn't be able to watch the whole thing, because Mitch was coming over, and he certainly wouldn't stand for that, Patrick Stewart or no Patrick Stewart. So I was going to add it to my Netflix queue. But then the sparring scene happened, and I got pissed off, and besides, Netflix doesn't have the long version, so forget that. I didn't care anymore. I'll just see it on TV like I always do. I thought about renting the other Dune, the SciFi mini-series, Netflix did have that, and that shit tried very very hard to be faithful. But man, I remember the sets being so cheap in some scenes they were distracting. So I passed on that as well.

Oh and also, in the Lynch Dune they describe the spice as being cinammon-colored and IT'S NOT IT'S FUCKING TURQUOISE. What the fuck.

Okay.

So speaking of Netflix and what a huge dork I am, I have something like 32 discs in my queue. The first 27 are Star Trek: The Original Series volumes 13 thru 40 (that's the rest of the entire series, there are two episodes per disc). The remaining five are the I, Claudius miniseries (the chick who plays Helen Gaiam Moynihan Smith in Dune also plays Livia in I, Claudius, and it reminded me). Could I get any cooler? I mean seriously?

Speaking of Star Trek, I miss Deep Space Nine. But I just can't stand to watch it anymore. It's on some podunk public access station, which means the quality sucks it. I'm spoiled from watching the TOS DVD's, the quality of which is excellent. Also, there are DS9 episodes I haven't seen! How can I watch an episode from season three if there are episodes in seasons one and two I haven't watched? How can I watch an episode about Klingons from the House of Duras if I haven't seen the original TOS episode with Duras in it? Now that I've started from the beginning, the very beginning, watching anything from a later series feels like I'm skipping ahead in a book.

Believe it or not, but I'm actually not really talking about Star Trek. I have tons more to say, tons more that I muse about, but you're not interested. I'll just say that a) the original episodes are, in a lot of ways, a lot better than I thought they would be. There are a few embarrassing moments, but on the whole, they hold up well. And b) in this series, Spock is my favorite. I like the way he says "records" and "sensors". I HATE episodes where something affects him, and he feels emotion. They piss me off. I like my men stoic, I like my Vulcans Vulcan. Spock CRYING makes me embarrassed and disgusted. There's this episode where he meets up with this chick who had fallen in love with him four years previous, and now a weird drug on the planet makes him able to be emotional and affectionate, and she's so happy about this because now they can be a cutesy little couple and climb trees and wear tunics. That's bullshit! If she REALLY loved Spock, if she loved him as much as *I* do, then she wouldn't like the softie Spock, because that's not really him! That's not what she [purportedly] fell in love with! Man. I really hated that bitch.

Netflix keeps recommending the Dr. Who DVD's, and I keep being insulted by that. I figure that would be the last straw. If I decided to like Dr. Who, that's it, it would be all over for me. I still have some dignity.

Speaking of my birthday, you know, it is coming up at the end of the month. Just sayin'.

Comments

( 32 comments — Leave a comment )
qed
Feb. 5th, 2004 02:34 pm (UTC)
I seem to remember the movie explaining the voice trick as some part of the weirding way, so it would pass from the Bene Gesserit through Jessica through Paul to the Fremen.

Now that I think of it, seems like they always just refer to the Bene Gesserit prana bindhu (sp) training in all the later books, so maybe that weirding stuff was just made up for the movie. Either way, it was lame.
counterfeitfake
Feb. 5th, 2004 03:01 pm (UTC)
the movie kind of sucks
I think the weirding way in the books was just like, the Bene Gesserit's skill of fighting extra good and also maybe the Voice.

So I think that you're right about the movie, and also what Washu said was correct, about the movie using this goofy voicegun schtick to explain how the Fremen were such good fighters, but it's still lazy and dumb and complete bullshit. I mean, seeing as how they live for centuries of oppression on this big goddamn ball of sand with no water, and they're all hopped up on spice, I think it's pretty believeable that they're just really tough motherfuckers.
Re: the movie kind of sucks - littlewashu - Feb. 6th, 2004 06:08 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - littlewashu - Feb. 6th, 2004 06:07 am (UTC) - Expand
blooman
Feb. 5th, 2004 02:51 pm (UTC)
DS9
They are releasing the Ds9 on DVD, I have season one and I know they up to season three. I actually got my season one dvd for my last birtday which is also very close to the end of the month, it's on the 24th. I hope that helps though the dvds are awesome with some cool extras. See ya around!
calamityjon
Feb. 5th, 2004 03:01 pm (UTC)
Re: DS9
Yeah, and Netflix is all up in that DS9 DVD series, so there you go. Watch away!
Re: DS9 - blooman - Feb. 5th, 2004 03:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: DS9 - littlewashu - Feb. 6th, 2004 06:11 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: DS9 - blooman - Feb. 6th, 2004 11:18 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: DS9 - littlewashu - Feb. 6th, 2004 06:11 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: DS9 - calamityjon - Feb. 6th, 2004 11:07 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: DS9 - littlewashu - Feb. 6th, 2004 11:27 am (UTC) - Expand
tawdryjones
Feb. 5th, 2004 03:04 pm (UTC)
nurds
OH, poop. I didn't realize the Animation Show was the Mike JUDGE Animation Show! Dammit. That's like when Giant was in town and I thought it was that old black and white movie and I couldn't understand why Tami was so interested in it. Now, I'm annoyed I missed it. bluh.

I was watching that Dune on SciFi network! I think I finally turned away in disgust during the cartoon beginning when they were introducing Paul. I don't know why, but by that point, I was getting annoyed with it. "Yes, yes, it's Paul. Right. MOVE ON."
taumeson
Feb. 5th, 2004 03:25 pm (UTC)
Re: nurds
yeah, but at least in the intro they mentioned Ix, and from all the years of playing the Dune II and Dune 2000 games, i'm all over anything to do with Ix and/or the butlerian jihad.

speaking of which, i should read that book.
Dunesbury. Oh ho, ho ho! - calamityjon - Feb. 5th, 2004 03:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Dunesbury. Oh ho, ho ho! - tawdryjones - Feb. 5th, 2004 07:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Dunesbury. Oh ho, ho ho! - littlewashu - Feb. 6th, 2004 06:20 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Dunesbury. Oh ho, ho ho! - calamityjon - Feb. 6th, 2004 11:14 am (UTC) - Expand
etherealruffian
Feb. 5th, 2004 05:06 pm (UTC)
why are TNG dvd box sets so fucking expensive?
oh man I,Claudius? just about one of my favorite mini series evaaaar!

you'll be pleased to see a TNG cast tie-in if you haven't watched it already.
(i could give you a hint but it would be a dead give away)
my parents have it on VHS and i'm tempted to get in on DVD to eduamacate dave.

have you read the book by Robert Graves? it's on my list of things to buy when i get a job... but that list is ever growing.

one more thing and then i'll stop gushing, livia is the original bad mama.
littlewashu
Feb. 6th, 2004 06:17 am (UTC)
Re: why are TNG dvd box sets so fucking expensive?
Oh yeah dude, we watched I, Claudius in Latin class in high school! The only part I didn't see was when Caligula eats his son out of his sister's belly, because Dr. Rose wouldn't let us watch it. I can't wait!

And I thought and thought, and then I remembered -- it's Patrick Stewart! WITH HAIR, RIGHT?? Doesn't he have curly hair or something? He's a centurian, right? Working for Tiberius, maybe? Something with an H? Man, now I can't wait, I might have to bump that up in the queue.

No, I haven't read the book -- after we watched it in class I decided I wanted to, but I never did! I should! Good idea!

Also, yeah man, Livia. Whenever I see that actress in anything else, I get excited, and also hate her, because she is Evil. She's awesome.

At my party I told Dave I was obsessed with Star Trek, and he said I should talk to you, but you were in a conversation and I never got back to it. The box sets ARE expensive. The DS9 ones are $90 a season. Who the hell is going to spend $630 on a series?? Crazy people, that's who.
quent
Feb. 5th, 2004 06:51 pm (UTC)
i think i'm all grows up too. sometimes gore just isn't funny. i think shock value is not shocking if you expect it, such as happy tree friends. billy's balloon was funny up to the point where the plane eats that kid. because its funny when you expect monotonous shit. but, i love love love liquid television, and i love aeon flux (the shorts not the series, because its so dynamic), and dog boy, and that one where that kid gets a cereal box ring and fights a giant mechanical spider run by a little roach inside... hell, i'll say i even like winter steele now, because it would remind me i'm watching liquid TV. Otherwise winter steele kinda sucks.

right... well, that's all i have to comment, because i didn't read the book Dune but i had an ex-girlfriend explain the David Lynch movie to me while we were watching, which just isn't the same. I would have much rather made out during the movie, because I'm not sure I understood it as much as I felt I should have...
littlewashu
Feb. 6th, 2004 06:19 am (UTC)
I have a few hours of a Liquid Television marathon on tape somewhere. Did they ever release that shit on DVD? As LT I mean, not just some Aeon Flux stuff. And why don't they revive the series? I can't believe it wouldn't do well . . .
Re: - calamityjon - Feb. 6th, 2004 11:12 am (UTC) - Expand
illscientist
Feb. 5th, 2004 10:39 pm (UTC)
I'M SORRY YOU FELL ON YOUR ASS
littlewashu
Feb. 6th, 2004 06:18 am (UTC)
tooo-WHOOP
THANK YOU DAVE YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND, SEEING AS HOW NONE OF THESE OTHER GEEKS EVEN MENTIONED IT.

Also, slide whistle. That is apparently not comedy gold as I thought it would be.
Re: tooo-WHOOP - emalinebeachbum - Feb. 6th, 2004 08:20 am (UTC) - Expand
onatopofthings
Feb. 6th, 2004 09:58 am (UTC)
oh ds9...its definitely the best of the trek series and if it weren't for silly nostalgic TNG reasons, would probably be my favorite. but the writing and the cast..no other series can match it. DS9 was truly brilliant television. i miss that show a lot.

duras never appeared in TOS, i don't think. he (well the "first" duras, or the one we saw first before enterprise came along) was the klingon who killed worf's girfriend/wife/whatever k'ehlyr was on TNG. his father was resposible for the attack on khitomer and worf's parents death, and his sisters were lursa and b'etor, the busty klingons. his son, um.. toral i think was his name? was in 2 episodes of TNG before showing up on DS9 when worf, jadzia and one of the old klingons from TOS (kor, i think) go looking for the sword of kahless. then i guess duras' great-great grandfather or something was on enterprise, but i didn't see those episodes.

its fun watching the original series. mostly i can't get over how good a lot of those episodes are, or how very much a 60s show it was much the same way TNG was very much an 80s show (a psychologist on the BRIDGE? ha).

that'd be really cool to start from the beginning and just go through everything. it'd take forever and a day, but would be pretty cool.





littlewashu
Feb. 6th, 2004 11:35 am (UTC)
Ahh, okay. I read the House of Duras timeline on startrek.com a few weeks ago, but if I haven't *seen* the episodes, it's easy to get the details mixed up. I've seen the TNG with Lursa and B'tor, and that DS9 that you mentioned. Actually, there haven't been any Klingons on TOS at all yet, and I'm already on disc 10 or so . . . crazy! I had no idea that Romulans were introduced first.

that'd be really cool to start from the beginning and just go through everything

It IS pretty cool! You should do it! It helps to have a buddy, though. Man, you know what cracks me up? There are articles on startrek.com that attempt to explain why the Klingons on TOS didn't have forehead ridges, or Romulans either. These whole long elaborate explanations. I think it's funny that some people want to make up rational explanations, instead of just saying "well, they hadn't decided on that makeup yet." I mean, come on, I understand wanting to stick to a canon and everything, but it IS just a tv show.
Re: - onatopofthings - Feb. 7th, 2004 02:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
tawdryjones
Feb. 9th, 2004 04:01 pm (UTC)
watch it for me! I'm not going to be near a TV tonight!
Westminster!

TONIGHT! 8pm!!!!!
( 32 comments — Leave a comment )

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