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The news is scary

Man, the news is seriously so scary these days!  To wit:

  1. Kangaroos.  Holy shit, this article makes kangaroos sound absolutely TERRIFYING!  I mean, here in New Jersey, if something natury wanders into your yard and threatens you, it's, like, a chatty squirrel.  Or a silent and motionless (which can be creepy) bunny.  Or a rabid raccoon.  That's about it.  Every once in a while you'll hear about a black bear, but they just seem to check out the garbage and mosey along, they don't hang out and stare at you menacingly as they drown your dog with their hind legs and punch your other dog with their front legs.

  2. Dick Cheney.  Man, in general, this man just creeps me the fuck out.  I mean, LOOK at him!  Look at his lying face!  Man, how could anyone trust that face ever?  The president is a stupid, ignorant, close-minded little man, but sometimes I think that maybe he really does want what's best for us -- he's just remarkably, well, stupid.  And brainwashed.  But Cheney has greed in his eyes.  He's malicious.  He's evil.

  3. We're not recycling anymore?  WTF, mates??  Why not?  How embarrassing!  Keep recycling, assholes!  I swear, Americans have such a short attention span.

    Oh wait, unless we're talking about --

  4. Rasputin's dick.  Sitting pretty at the Number Three spot.  Now that's classy.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 7th, 2004 01:45 pm (UTC)
I just noticed that the title of the article from which the picture of Rasputin's dick comes, is "Mad Monk's Member Features Big in Russian Erotica Museum".
Jul. 7th, 2004 03:40 pm (UTC)
On the recycling thing -- I'm not sure if you watch Penn & Teller's "Bullshit!" on Showtime; they did an episode on recycling, the end verdict being that with the exception of aluminum, recycling actually uses more resources and causes more pollution than just throwing stuff away.

They should, of course, be taken with a grain of salt and additional research, but I do count them as infinitely more trustworthy than, say, Micheal Moore.
Jul. 7th, 2004 05:21 pm (UTC)
penn and teller - i've seen parts of that one, and boy do i feel foolish recycling now.
Jul. 8th, 2004 05:53 am (UTC)
If this is true, then Scientists should be hard at work developing more efficient methods of recycling. Because I do not think that filling landfills with plastic and glass is a practical, long-term solution.

Also -- and know that I more agree with you than disagree on the subject -- if you mention goddamned Michael Moore in an irrelevant, non-Michael Moore-related discussion again, I'll -- I'll -- I'll slap you with Rasputin's dick.
Jul. 8th, 2004 08:19 am (UTC)
Penn and Teller covered the landfill thing, too -- I'm gonna paraphrase, of course; my memory's not photographic in the slightest, so rent the DVD if you get a chance. What happened was that the EPA released a report saying that without recycling, the nation's landfills would be overflowing within something like 100-300 years.

This turned out to be a statement made by the fellow in charge of leading the recycling effort, one which he now denies making; according to the actual research, it was determined that a 30-mile by 30-mile square of landfill, at the current rate of consumption, would be able to handle North America's trash output for the next 10,000 years.
Jul. 7th, 2004 05:37 pm (UTC)
Also, Holy cripes, Rasputin. My jealousy spans the ages.
Jul. 8th, 2004 07:57 am (UTC)
man, i hate people who don't recycle. seriously. hate hate hate. i would rather see people throw recyclables on the floor next to the trash can than just toss them carelessly into the regular garbage. that's the way i was raised, though. and my dad's a republican...
Jul. 10th, 2004 06:37 am (UTC)
right on, my friend. yesterday, as I departed Brigantine for home, I put all of the recyclables in plastic bags and threw them in my backseat, because there is no recycling in Brigantine. Last night, everyone made fun of me, but I don't care... that's how I roll
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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