I spent most of the evening on my couch, drifting in out of sleep. I think I cried once. At one I went to bed. Ohio schmohio, I didn't delude myself this morning.
I have nothing more to say, really, than what has already been said. I am floored. I am disappointed, and I am embarrassed. Part of me wants to sincerely try to figure out what those 53 million people were thinking. To see what they see. I think that a lot of them could give me good arguments. I think that maybe for a lot of people, Bush really was the best choice for them. But I also think that a lot of people got fucking hornswaggled. And that a lot of people are looking out for themselves, fuck everyone who doesn't think like they do. Those people can go fuck themselves.
Someone said recently that my life wouldn't be directly affected by who was president. To a certain extent, he's right. Aside from gas prices and tax cuts, what do I care? My brother's heart won't allow him to be drafted, and all of my other guy friends are too old. So I shouldn't care if we send troops to fight a useless war under false pretenses. Right? What do I care? And at my age, I'd not have an abortion. I'd keep it. So why should I care when Bush appoints conservative judges that overturn Roe v. Wade? Right? Doesn't affect me. I ain't gay, and if I were, I sure as hell wouldn't want to get married. So what the fuck do I care, right? Doesn't affect me. And fuck, the environment? I live in NEW JERSEY, for fuck's sake. Why should I give a shit what happens to forests in Washington? Why should I give a shit about emissions? Why shouldn't I embrace clean coal? I'm already breathing polluted air, who the fuck cares? Am I right? Who's with me? I already know about sex. What the fuck do I care what they teach in schools?
Fuck it. Who cares. Are we going to survive? Yes. But it doesn't mean I have to be fucking happy about it. I'm not that old yet. And I hope I never am.
And the thing that bothers me most about this election is not what might happen in the next four years -- it's that so many people voted for Bush, and were sure that that was the right thing to do. That's what bothers me the most. As Tami said: who ARE these people? Why do they think so differently from me? I was so confident yesterday afternoon, I was so sure . . .