As I may have mentioned (or as you may have noticed), I have little to no libido these days. This isn't a huge deal to me, as I'm not sleeping with anyone anyway, and all a libido does to me (as I learned a year ago, when I skipped my pill for a month) is make me frustrated and agitated. If I don't want to have sex, I can't get too upset about how I'm not having any.
However, with the knowledge that my appointment was coming up soon, I started thinking about the whole thing. I mean, a little bit of a libido would be nice. Chase some of my cynicism away. Remind me that I am still a woman after all. Having a libido is a healthy and natural thing, right? Right. And theoretically -- theoretically -- if I had any hankerin', then maybe I'd be more interested in actually dealing with a relationship or something. And maybe that would make me happy in a different way from the way in which I'm happy today. Whatever.
But the thing is, I like being on the pill. I like my super-predictable periods. My periods lasted SEVEN DAYS pre-pill: Now it's four and change. It helped my skin when I started taking it seven years ago; I assume it is still doing that for me. I also used to get pretty bad cramps back in the day -- the pill made them extremely mild, and some months I get away with nothing at all.
And on the side-effects tip, aside from the disinterest in fucking, there isn't really much to speak of. I get PMS (though lately it has migrated to CMS (Concurrent Menstral Syndrome, I just made that up), which confuses and frustrates me because it hits just as I'm patting myself on the back for getting through a month without being sad and irrational for no reason), but I'm pretty sure I always got PMS. I don't get yeast infections (knock wood). I didn't gain weight when I started taking it. Etc etc.
So I say to my doctor, I say, "I don't have a libido and would sort of maybe like to have one, but I really like being on the pill besides that." She tells me that all hormonal birth control pills are going to affect my libido in some way. I'm not ovulating, so my body doesn't think that it needs sex. But she prescribes Ortho Tri-Cylen Lo (instead of the regular Ortho Tri-Cyclen, which is what I've been taking for . . . oh, seven years now. Wow.) She says that I should give it a try for a few months, and if that doesn't work, what I can do is alternate months: that is, take the pill for a month, then skip a month, then back again. I'd have to use condoms during my "fertile period" of the off months, of course, but seeing as how I'm not getting any anyway (and if I did, I'd be using them for STD reasons anyway), this doesn't really phase me.
My reaction to this suggestion was !!!
I mean, man! That's so common-sensy, and yet it never even occurred to me! This is fantastic! If the lower dosage jawn doesn't work, I'll definitely go for that. I mean, my periods will stay regular, and my layperson opinion is that residual shit will keep my cramping and flow to a minimum. But every other month I'll be a total horndog! And the other months I can chill back and relax! Man! This idea is seriously blowing my mind, particularly the simplicity of it. Why didn't anyone tell me this before?
I can see that it might cause problems for women whose bodies are more sensitive to these hormones. I know some women are in a lot of pain when they first start taking the pill; I know some women feel nauseous if they even have to take TWO at the same time. That's definitely not the case for me. I'm forgetful, and I usually end up having to take two at a time about once a month, and it doesn't have any sort of noticible effect. Heck, I even took emergency contraception one time back in college (which is four BC pills in the morning, four more in the afternoon, if I recall correctly) and I didn't even get a tummyache. And I wouldn't expect my weight or anything else to fluctuate. So, yeah, cool!
But for now I'll try this low-dosage stuff and see if I notice any improvement. Friends have recommended Nordette and Yasmin as well, so sometime tonight I'll do a little research (lookin' for a re) and compare and contrast those three brands and see what the deal is. In three months if I'm not happy, I'll call my girl again and either ask for a new 'scrip, or let her know I'm trying the every-other jawn. Either way, though, man, I'm feeling great.
And I was out of there in 30 minutes! MAN. If any of my special lady friends are looking for a GYN, please let me recommend this woman to you. I love her to pieces. She works out of offices in Voorhees, Sewell, and Camden.
That's it! Thanks for reading, ladies.
ADDENDUM: You maybe thinking "but dude, you just said that you were frustrated and agitated for the month you were off the pill. Why does that suddenly sound appealing?" The whole story (which I left out the first time 'round to be more dramatic) is that the month was horrible and frustrating until I realized why I was so messed up, and then I wasn't so messed up anymore. I was seriously chalking it up to singlehood just . . . I dunno, catching up to me. That I had been happy for a while, but had hit my limit. It wasn't until I was watching The Two Towers, rubbing my hands and licking my lips at the appearance of every male character except Gimli -- even Aragorn, who normally is not my type at all -- that I had my eureka moment. Once I realized what was causing my shit to be crazy, the rest of the month wasn't crazy at all.