Last weekend Chris and I went to the dog show: you know, the one they show on NBC on Thanksgiving Day? It was awesome. The judgings themselves were a little boring, but one was able to walk around and pet lots and lots of funny-looking dogs. The top of a bulldog's head feels funny! Chris took some pictures, but they're not at my disposal here, so you'll see them later.
John O'Hurley (aka J Peterman) was there. He bumped into me. Actually some other guy did, but he was walking right in front of J Peterman, and it's more impressive when I lie.
And we don't know who won, because we left before Best In Show. We only know who won the terriers, and the working dogs. I . . . don't remember either. I only remember who came in third in the working dogs (I won't spoil it for you.) It wasn't the Great Dane, though, which is a shame, because he looked all right from where I was sitting. I can tell you that the Mop Dog's handler was wearing a kilt. You heard it here first!
I picked out my Perfect Dog. See, in theory I would love a big furry dog like a Great Pyrenees or a Saint Bernard or whathaveyou, but in practice, living with a cat is bad enough, and I don't need to have dog hair all over everything always. Therefore, when thinking about dogs I'd want to live with, I consider the short-haired dogs. In the days before the show, I browsed the American Kennel Club's list of dogs, and one in the Hound Group caught my eye: the Pharaoh Hound. Isn't he a beauty? Look at that silouette! Gorgeous. He looks like he fell right off a pyramid wall. I love him!
So I was looking for a Pharaoh Hound when we got there, and we found one. Whilst we crouched by the dog, waiting for him to turn around so that Chris could take his picture, we chatted with the extremely laid-back, not-at-all-Dog-Showy owner. He almost made it sound like they show the dog just because they happened to have a show dog on their hands. "There's no grooming involved," he said. So true! Their hair is super super short, so you don't even have to brush 'em. "They don't shed, they don't smell, and they don't drool," said the guy. "The trifecta!" replied Chris. Seriously though, is that perfect or WHAT? Then the guy admitted that they might be a bit too stand-offish for a lot of Dog People. "They're not all up in your face, they do their own thing." Wow. Sounds like a dog made for cat people. I AM IN LOVE.
Boviously, realistically speaking, I think I would rather rescue a dog than pay a zillion dollars for one. But still. PHARAOH HOUND! New favorite dog. I also really like it when an animal's eyes match his or her fur, for some reason.
Although, as long as we're speaking unrealistically, I like pretty much every dog ever. Okay, that's not true. I don't like those scary Chinese Cresteds. And many toy dogs are useless. But I [heart] every working dog (they are my favorite Group) and also most Hounds and Sporting Dogs and Herding Dogs. And most terriers are okay because of their little terrier faces. Basically, if you have a job to do (or that your ancestors did), you're okay in my book.
Also I told Chris that if I had never met him, and therefore eventually had to move into an actual house all by myself (and would therefore be scared by every tiny noise), I would totally get some sort of mastiff. Those guys are built like TANKS. They have such HUGE heads and HUGE shoulders. I would love to have one of those guys on my side.
Man, I want to lay around with dogs. DOGSDOGSDOGS. They are so crazy! As I was saying last weekend, I can't believe that this and this are the same species of animal. One looks like a rodent, and the other is a freaking BEAR! Maaaaan, dogs.
P.S. Whilst we were watching the dogs, you know, walk over here, and walk back over there, and stand there and be squeezed and stroked and prodded, I wondered, "what the heck are CAT shows like?" and Chris replied, "Lame." Ouch.