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Very bad words

Hey, you know what's kind of neat? I actually have a very clear memory of the first time I ever said the word "fuck".

Back when I was a little kid living in Queens, my parents were pretty good about keeping their mouths clean around me (my mom said "S-H-I-T" all the time, and "sugar!"), and I didn't get to watch any grown-up type movies. So when I was in first grade (or kindergarten, but it was probably first grade), I hadn't yet heard the F-word, I didn't know it existed.

One time I was in the bathroom at school, and there were a couple of Big Kids in there. One of them pointed to the side of a bathroom stall on which was scrawled "FUCK" and said, "Oooooooooooh, that's a bad word!"

I looked at it and read it, and said, "no it's not."

"Yes it is," she insisted. "It says, F-U-C-K."

"So? Fuck. That's not a bad word." All the girls' eyes got THIS big and they all pointed at me and made that little finger symbol that means "Oooooooh!" and said "Oooooooh! You said it! You said a very bad word! I'm telling."

Also in first grade I got in trouble for calling a fellow student a "chicken shit" during recess. I didn't fully realize the bad-ness of that bad word either, though I knew it was kinda bad. But I got into more trouble for that than I had anticipated.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 7th, 2001 07:53 am (UTC)
At nine or ten years old, citing the weirded-out glam-shock Flash Gordon movie (which I dug so much), I called a cousin "a bastard."

Oh man. My dad backhanded the cowlick outta my hair.

I like to think he wasn't so upset about my using the word, as he was that I neglected to precede it by saying "Yore a big nasty ..." and ending with "...And yore momma SAID SO!"
Aug. 7th, 2001 08:23 am (UTC)
Oh man, me and cussing go way back. I remember one time, I was probably something like eight, the girl who lived next door to me- whose name is Danielle- and I had a big disagreement with some kids who lived in our neighborhood, over God knows what. We all hung out by these vines that hung off a giant tree in the woods by our houses, and this was our plan: when we saw the kids, and they fucked with us, either:
  • I would say to them, "Suck my fat one;"
  • or Danielle would say to them, "Suck his fat one."

Pretty good plan. I forget how it worked out, except I remember we got in trouble with our respective parents.

I have another story.

When I was in something like first grade, so I guess around the same age, I wanted nothing more than to be fucking cool, for my grade, and to have seen "Beverly Hills Cop," which was playing in theaters. So I convinced my mom to take me. She gave me a long speech about all the language Eddy Murphy would be using, and how I couldn't use it, or quote him, or anything. (Pssh. I thought the funniest thing in the whole movie was the banana in the tailpipe, not any 'fucks' or 'asses'.) So we're at the movie, I know well enough never to use any of the language I hear, we see the movie, no big deal. On the way out of the movie, my brother, who's like four at this time, and we all I guess assumed wouldn't be paying attention, turns to my mom and goes, "Mommy, what does 'fuck' mean?"

The end.
Aug. 7th, 2001 10:02 am (UTC)
tonka trucks
Sorry for the mysterious anonymous post again but I thought I would check out your LJ and this entry brought back fond memories of my first curse (or cuss since I was living in Texas at the time). Anyway, I had this sweet steel Tonka pick-up truck, which at the the time I thought was identical to the truck used by the Fall Guy but now I realize was nothing like it. It came with a spare tire, an orange motorcycle, and a red gas can...each having it's own little spot in the bed of the truck. Anyway, my friend Ben, my sister and I were playing in the dirt with the truck and various other toy aparati, and Ben asked me to hand him the gas can so he could fill up the motorcycle. I misunderstood him and thought he said "ass can" so I said "it's not an ass can, it's a gas can" or something like that. I had no idea what I had said but my sister heard and goes "ooohhhh I'm telling on you" then ran inside to rat me out. I don't remember getting in trouble but the "ass can" will always be one of my fondest memories.
Aug. 7th, 2001 10:29 am (UTC)
Thank God for curse words
I remember my pre-elementary school days when I didn't know any curse words. So if I was mad at my brother I'd call him 'poo and pee and boogers and farts all mixed together in a bag'.

Thank god for curse words come to save my dignity.
Aug. 7th, 2001 10:57 am (UTC)
My first bad word was "dickhead" and I got backhanded across the face for saying it. It's a shame that didn't stunt my use of foul language. fucker.
Aug. 7th, 2001 02:20 pm (UTC)
my first curse was "meecrob."
Aug. 7th, 2001 09:10 pm (UTC)
I don't remember my first curse word, but I remember the first one I got in trouble for - I had just finished watching Teen Wolf (this was fifth grade) and I accidentally cut in front of someone in line. He said something like, "Hey!" and I quoted the immortal line (as best I remember it):

"What're you looking at, dicknose?"

Straight out of the movie, man.

So he ran to the teacher and said, "Mrs. Bennett! Mrs. Bennett! Kevin called me a dicknose!"

Why he didn't get in trouble for yelling it in front of the whole class, I'll never know.
Aug. 7th, 2001 09:19 pm (UTC)
Heh I got in a fistfight in eighth grade with some redneck ho in the school cafeteria, and afterwords we were in the office talking to the principal so he called in our friends one by one to ask them the version of the story. One of my friends, a fat fellow we called Pickle, came back out positively beaming. The principal had asked him what the redneck girl had called me, and Pickle was so excited. He was all "I got to say WHORE and BITCH and SLUT right in front of Mr. Pritchard" like it was the highlight of his life.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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